When Cellphones Go Crazy Read online

  ***

  An hour earlier, Avery Ward was at the fraternity house, waiting for the barbecue committee to convene. The meeting was scheduled for later, but Avery liked to get an early start, as did several of the other frat brothers who lived elsewhere but spent much of their time at the house, so the house was already filling up with nonresidents. Because he was so early and had time to kill, he decided to pop in a movie. When he entered the living room, however, Dexter, one of his fellow nonresident frat brothers, passed him a message. He was on the couch, sitting quietly.

  “Chet needs you to get dressing and sauce for the Memorial Day bash,” he said.

  “Oh?” said Avery. “Any reason he won’t tell me himself, at the meeting later?”

  Dexter shrugged.

  “You know Chet. Too busy to explain himself.”

  “Okay, I’ll put it on my list for that weekend.”

  “I think he wants it now.”

  Avery wrinkled his nose.

  “Really? Why? It’s two weeks away.”

  Dexter shrugged.

  “Ask him.”

  Avery found Chet in his bedroom. He was pacing between his bed and his dresser while he carried on a lively conversation with his cellphone. Chet didn’t bother looking up when Avery entered.

  “—not a big deal, man,” he was saying, as he stopped, scratched his face, took another few steps, stopped, furrowed his brow, and repeated the process. “We’re cool with any style. Reggae, jazz, contemporary—whatever you can find. We need lots of—”

  Avery waved to get his attention, but he didn’t look up. The man was always on his phone. When a few more wild gestures went unnoticed, Avery decided to interrupt his conversation.

  “Hey, what kind of dressing and sauce you want me to get?” he asked.

  Chet ignored him. Whatever conversation he was having, it was clearly more important to him than answering Avery’s question.

  “Chet?” he said. “What kind of dressing and sauce? I’m going to the store.”

  “—nah, man, he’s a good enough drummer. We don’t need star power. Just competent. Drunk people don’t care about quality. They just need sound. Yeah, man, keeps them—”

  “Chet!”

  This got Chet’s attention. He cupped his hand over the receiver and gave Avery the stink eye.

  “Dude, I’m on the phone. What do you want?”

  “I’m going to the store. What dressing and sauce do you want?”

  “Really? You’re bothering me for that? Can’t you see I’m busy?”

  “Just want to make sure that—”

  Chet waved him off and went back to his conversation. Avery tossed his arms up in protest. If not for the fact that Chet was in charge of the barbecue committee, Avery would’ve rejected his request and watched his movie instead.

  Back in the living room, he found Dexter still on the couch.

  “You sure Chet didn’t say what kind of dressing and sauce he wanted?” Avery asked.

  Dexter shook his head. Avery studied him. He was staring at the television, but it wasn’t turned on.

  “You all right?”

  Dexter stared at nothing for a few more seconds, then looked up when he broke out of his trance.

  “What?”

  “I asked if you were all right.”

  “Oh, yeah.” He went back to staring at the blank television, thinking about whatever was on his mind. “I mean, I don’t know. Just having an off kind of feeling today.”

  “How so?”

  “I don’t know. Gina said something strange to me this morning. Not sure what it meant. Just, you know, I can’t put my finger on it. But she’s acting a little unusual.”

  “More than usual?”

  Dexter glanced at him. Gave him a smirk. Avery and the other frat brothers had been trying to convince him for a long time that his wife had some quirks about her that had put her on the dangerous side of marriage, but Dexter either couldn’t see it, or he refused to see it. This was gonna be one of those cases, so Avery changed his question.

  “Unusual how?” he asked.

  Dexter shrugged.

  “That’s what I’m trying to figure out. I was actually hoping you could help me since you’re the psychologist.”

  “Psychology student,” he corrected him. “Still learning the ropes.”

  “But still.”

  Avery agreed to gather some vibes about her the next time he saw her. Dexter thanked him. The assurance was comforting enough that Dexter moved his hand toward the television remote.

  Avery had actually found Gina, Dexter’s wife, sitting at the dining room table on the floor below a few minutes later. She was munching on some crackers and cheese and laughing at her cellphone screen when Avery approached.

  “Hey,” Avery asked. “I’m heading to the store. Any idea what kind of dressing and sauce Chet wants for the party?”

  Gina glanced up at him. She winked and smiled. Then she got up from her chair, put her hand on his shoulder, stood uncomfortably close, close enough for him to smell the provolone on her breath, and answered him in a silky voice.

  “Oh, you’re so cute, Avery. You know what he likes.”

  Avery took a small step backward. Not enough for her to notice, but enough for him to feel better about her proximity. She was a shameless flirt, and everyone in the fraternity knew about it, everyone but Dexter.

  Her phone chimed. Someone was sending her a text.

  “Remind me,” Avery said.

  She broke away and reached for her phone. She held her finger up at him while she read the message. Then she laughed and messaged the texter back.

  “Sorry. What did you ask?”

  “Remind me. What dressing and sauce?”

  Her phone chimed again.

  “Hold on.”

  She responded to the texter again. This went on for three minutes. Then the phone rang. Gina answered.

  “Hey,” she said. “Yeah, you’re so crazy—” She glanced at Avery and noticed him staring at her. “—er, chick. I do like that. I can’t wait to see it. You should totally go for it. Put it out there, Bri-, er,” she smiled at Avery, “chick.”

  She put her hand over the receiver.

  “Avery, sweetie,” she said. “This could take a while. What did you need?”

  “Dressing and sauce?”

  “In the fridge.”

  Again, Avery tossed his hands up. He just wanted a straight answer. They were inviting hundreds of people to the barbecue, and he was in charge of dressing and sauce, and he didn’t even know what kind of dressing and sauce to supply. He could’ve just waited until that weekend to get them, but no, Chet needed everything done right now, yet he was too focused on another matter to give Avery any guidance. Why this couldn’t wait until the meeting, he didn’t know.

  Just then, Dexter entered the dining room to find his wife talking on the phone and Avery staring helplessly at her as he waited for her to take a breath. When Gina spotted her husband in the doorway, she gave him an awkward smile.

  “That’s right, Brian, er, A—Brian-a. Brianna! Okay, I’ve got company. Gotta go.”

  She disconnected the phone and smiled.

  “Hey, honey. You still depressed?”

  Dexter pointed at her.

  “Brianna?” he asked.

  “Yeah, girlfriend from class. She’s so stupid.” Gina was fidgety where she stood.

  “You gonna invite her to the barbecue? Chet wants a big turnout.”

  Gina shrugged.

  “I guess.” Then she looked at Avery. “I’ll invite her if Avery invites someone.”

  Dexter chortled.

  “You know he won’t do that,” he said. “He’s got no guts.”

  Avery felt a little sucker punched by that. Last thing he expected to break his friend out of a stupor was his terrible conversational initiation skills.

  “Sure he does,” said Gina. “You should have more faith in the people you care about. Avery’s got plenty o
f guts. He just needs to step out and remind himself that persistence is key. If he can’t get someone to commit to the party, then he’s gotta convince them to be his date through other means. He just has to try, try, and try again.” She smiled at Avery. “Veni, vidi, vici, you handsome stud. Remember, you keep trying, and you’ll get your success. Case in point: Italian dressing and steak sauce.”

  Dexter frowned. It seemed as if Gina had just handed him the missing puzzle he needed to solve today’s weirdness mystery.

  ***

  Avery stood in that salad dressing aisle thinking about what Gina had said, taking her comforting words to heart. Giving up was easy, but boldness gave way to reward. He just needed to demonstrate that he meant business. And he even had a vehicle for getting what he wanted.

  The mission changed: He had to invite Melissa to the barbecue, reclaiming his once lost second chance at love.